Hey Hanna, its Mir:)

i haven’t been the bestest friend lately. i need to realize that i can’t keep fucking up. im not like this, i can’t kep choosing things over my friends. they are my heart. i need to change or i won’t have anyone. i really need to change, i need to take time out and figure out what i need to do. i’m done crying, i’m done being unhappy. me, myself, and i need to change. my friends need a better friend then me. i’m done with all the bullshit i keep giving out. from now on, its the real hanna. CHICKS BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE. before guys, especially guys. before anybody. right now, is the time to change. and im ready, i just have to give it time.

him;  hey i know youve been wondering why i havent text you. but there is somthin i need to tell you.

me; what is it?

him; i don’t think me and you are gonna work out…

me; well i’ve already been told that you called me a whore. i just don’t understand what i did for you to think that we won’t work out.

him; what do you mean you know what im talking about. its clear why we wont work out.

me; just cause the whole thing with ********? fuck that. i already forgot about that. i thought you got past that?

him; oh yeah let me just move on as if you didnt fuck my bestfriend. wtf do you want me to say?

me; i understand that you would be mad. but i regret is so bad! i told you i didn’t wanna loose you. like what do you want me to say to make you believe me? me and ******** don’t even talk anymore.

him; i dont want to say anything. i just honestly have been thinking ive been trying to make myself think it will work. but it wont

me; what part will not work? i regret it with all my heart like i don’t know what else i can say. i wanted us to work out.

him; i wanted us to work too. but it wont… im sorry it just wont

me; i lost my bestfriend, i like you a lot so much. like i know we made a mistake, but iregret it. like we cant even try?

him; no because. it doesnt stop there. there have been many other people. people that have nothing to do with what happened say that you have been screwing around with other guys

me; i have not even thought about a guy. i swear on my life. i told you im not like that, the one time i did that with ******** i was really drunk. and if i do that with guys, i only do it with a guy i really care about. the only guy i have thought about was you.

him; i just really dont think itll work.

me; give a specific reason.

him; because i dont feel that its worth it.

me; im not worth it? you know that hurts me a lot.

him; not as much as it hurt me when i found out you fucked my bestfriend

me; yeah i know. it hurt me to, i lost my bestfriend too. but like you dont know how much i regret it with my whole heart. i jsut dont know what to say to change your mind, i just want you to give me a chance.

and that was it, he didn’t text back. i don’t know what to think right now. i liked him SOO much. ugh, i really need to just quit. obviously no guy will ever want me. i always like the douchebags and the assholes that always screw me over. just another fantasy.

“when you look at him, not say a word, and still get butterflies.. thats when you know you really care about someone.”  thats how i felt.

and dallas, when you read this please text me. im crying to hard to talk. we also need to talk about the _ _ _ _ _ thing. you know who. just text me. i love you to death. <3